Fear...unspoken and not asked

Throughout my journey to date from early adulthood, I have experienced at times an uneasy feeling. An emotional rollercoaster that manifested itself in avoiding situations and being quite withdrawn. At times it has offered me the greatest of discomfort, resulting in many different emotions and thoughts.

I have had very unhelpful experiences of fear.  (Sam's Peer)

To be informed through literature that fear is a natural human response, rooted in humankind's historic flight or fight system offers little comfort in this modern world for myself. Indeed, it could be suggested that fear is often overlooked by even the most diligent professional or supporter. I would suggest that there was an unsaid understanding that I was living a fearful life at times however it was more likely to be named anxiety.

The difference between anxiety and fear? Fear could be described as a response to a threat of harm, whereas anxiety could be described as the worrying aspect of what could happen. For myself fear is getting ready for something that is in front of me or I am aware is going to happen, while anxiety is the rollercoaster that never appears to let oneself of. Constantly fuelled by my creative imagination of all the possible outcomes that could arise.

Now, in sharing my understanding of fear and anxiety I am aware it may not resonate with everyone that reads this article however please be mindful it is based on my own understanding. I have intentionally sat with the discomfort that writing about fear has for myself and indeed the fear that I write something that doesn’t quite make sense to people reading this…or is this an anxiety!

I would suggest that part of support for people…be expressing and discussing fears. It may be the case that the fear is tangible and understood as a reasonable response to a situation. It could be rooted in an upcoming decision or life event. It could arise due to past experiences where a person already knows what could happen due to it happening before.

For example I have had a fear with regards to going into mental health crisis since my last improved wellbeing journey. I am suggestive that this is not an anxiety as it is based on my own experience that to go into crisis can impact every aspect of my day to day. The fear is purposeful for me in that it is a reminder for myself to be mindful of my lifestyle choices, connecting with others and seeking support at earliest opportunity.

Living with mental ill health experiences can evoke fear, often undisclosed fears. This is in part in my opinion due to the supports that focus on the mental ill health and treatment of the mental ill health. Rather I am suggestive of holistically looking at the person and the neighbourhood the person calls home.

An example is if one has ten thousand pounds saved, it could reasonably be stated that one may be less likely to be fearful of the price of a tin of beans rising.

 If one has a fixed income meaning that one is left with three pounds a week to purchase food, then there could be a fear present about rising cost of a tin of beans.

 I suggest this example as a way of understanding people’s circumstances can influence the prevalence of fear that can be intertwined with mental ill health. Yet, my experiences on my lived journey of mental health issues is that I cannot remember talking about fear at any point. 

Anxiety was often discussed to-be-sure. Somehow my quite reasonable fears of loss of relationships, work, volunteering, education…my home, was overlooked in my opinion for the greater purpose of a recovery or reaching a level where I could function reasonably. I sat with my fears, most probably at times where support would have been helpful.

The reluctance or overlooking of fear within support could be due to the nature of the possible outcomes of mental ill health. A mortgage may not be paid on one’s behalf, a relationship may not be transformed by an hour’s support session with a professional worker a week to discuss, employment may be lost and all the factors that this brings. 

Fear of loss of identity and loss of purpose, can accompany mental ill health. Fear at the root that branches out to many aspects that support people in their neighbourhoods and to thrive in their neighbourhoods.

Peer Support for Fears

Being afraid in itself can be described as a natural response to many life factors, such as walking a road late at night or fear of flying. Fear alerts that there is perhaps something that an individual needs to be mindful of. In essence it is preparatory to taking an action to ensure wellbeing. It can be a safeguarding experience however can also become very unhelpful.

Fear that is present alongside experiencing mental health issues can feel very personal. The fear can intertwine with mental health issues resulting in promoting a cycle of fear, anxiety and finding it challenging to cope with the day to day.

Talking can be a helpful strategy for starting to work towards defining the cause of the fear. Many people find it challenging to express their fears often due to paradoxically, a fear of not being understood. This is the unfairness of fear…it is often hidden, not talked about and therefore can persist.

A place where people can access a safe space to talk about what matters to them, is what Sam’s Fife drop-ins offer. People with a lived experience of mental health issues are employed by SAMH… the Scottish Action for Mental Health, in peer worker roles at Sam’s drop-ins.

 Peer workers offer support for people to express their emotions, mental health challenges and to consider self-compassion. One to one peer support at a time and day that is convenient for the person attending… with no appointment needed.

There may be fear or anxiety that arises considering attending a community project however people will always be welcomed at Sam’s, for one to one peer support.

Fear of attending a new place for the first time can be described as reasonable. When the fear stops a person attending a resource of support, it can be stated that the fear may have become a barrier to support.

At Sam's we aspire to support people to attend whether it is inviting people to phone before attending, meeting a person at the main door, ensuring there is a warm welcome of understanding of the steps to get to Sam's that day. 

We do recognise possibly walking with that fear to the main Sam's door and we do understand your journey. You will be offered time-space-compassion at Sam's through a shared understanding of lived experience.

Sam's is a safe space for one to one peer support. The space is relaxed and comfortable. The peer support starts with what is important for you that day.